​If you are reading this book you are probably a male person and if you are curious about this you most likely are married and have a female (or stereotypically female-like partner).  If these things are correct then welcome to the chaotic, hilarious, and sometimes downright baffling world of marriage. After twenty years of navigating this amazing rollercoaster with my wonderful wife, I can honestly say I wouldn’t trade it for anything. We’ve had more laughs than I can count, countless fun times, and created a lifetime of memories. But let’s be real—alongside those moments of bliss, there’s been a fair share of missteps, misunderstandings, and more than the occasional "I can't believe you just did that" looks.

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This book isn’t written by a marriage expert (trust me, my wife would be the first to point that out). It’s a collection of stories, observations, and comical disasters drawn from my own experiences and friends brave enough to share their tales. Consider it a survival guide of sorts, one where you can learn from my mistakes and maybe even get a laugh out of them.

I’ve done almost everything wrong at some point. From misreading simple requests to getting entangled in complex emotional knots, I’ve stumbled through the marital minefield. Each mistake, however, has been a lesson—a sometimes painful, often embarrassing, but always enlightening lesson.

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The scenarios you’ll find in this book aren’t all from my marriage, but they encapsulate the universal challenges we all face. Whether it’s misinterpreting a casual comment, handling a delicate situation with all the grace of a bull in a china shop,1 or trying to discreetly manage a drunken evening out, these stories show the importance of humor, empathy, and, most importantly, knowing when to admit you’re wrong.

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One thing I’ve learned is that keeping situations light can defuse even the tensest moments. Laughter truly is the best medicine, and if you can’t laugh at yourself, well, your spouse certainly will. This book aims to share some of those lighter moments, offering advice with a side of sarcasm and a hefty dose of reality.

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To my wife, who has been my partner in this wild ride, thank you for your patience, your love, and for not strangling me when I deserved it (which, let’s face it, has been more often than I’d like to admit). You’ve taught me more than I could ever put into words, and I’m grateful for every moment we’ve shared—even the ones where I’ve put my foot so far into my mouth I could taste my socks. Here’s to many more years of love, laughter, and learning together.

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As we dive into these scenarios, remember that marriage is about growing together, learning from our mistakes, and always striving to understand and support each other. Whether you're newlyweds or have been together for decades, may this book serve as a reminder that love, humor, and a bit of humility go a long way in keeping a relationship strong.

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So buckle up, and get ready for a journey through the hilarious misadventures of married life. Trust me, it’s going to be a bumpy—but wildly entertaining—ride.